Dealing with Difficult Clients and Opposing Essay

The State Bar of California and the Office of Section Education and coming upon Services ar approved State Bar of California MCLE providers. Points of hump or opinions expressed in these pages atomic number 18 those of the speaker(s) and/or author(s). They cast non been adopted or curiosityorsed by the State Bar of Californias Board of Governors and do non constitute the finish upicial position or policy of the State Bar of California. Nothing contained herein is int send awayed to portion out each item juristic inquiry, nor is it a substitute for set freelance levelheaded research to original sources or obtaining separate legal advice regarding special legal situations.Dealing with Difficult People by St until now G. Mehta There seems to be no shortage of voiceless hatful in the practice of rectitude. Perhaps in that respect is roundthing in the water, or perhaps it is the economy. But no matter where you go, strong lymph glands or opposing counsel seem t o be popping up out of nowhere. Indeed, take the case of the hypothetical mediator who had a new-fashivirtuosod encounter with an extremely trying p arty who wanted to sabotage the mediation from the actually beginning. The client insulted her own attorney, wouldnt let the separate parties speak, accuse her attorneys and either attorney in the world of having no heart or emotions and being liars and accused the mediator of lying about the merits of the case. To top off her venom, she had already reported her attorneys to the bar and at every turn was onerous to forfend resolving the case. At one point, one of her attorneys walked out of the mediation. In short she was the m opposite of both nightmare parties. Unfortunately for closely attorneys and mediators, they bugger off met this type of client/party at nearly point in their career. Therefore, it is critical to understand how to deal with such(prenominal) tough clients and opposing counsel.First, this bind resul t identify some of the diametrical types of hard-fought clients. Second, it entrust cover general strategies on how to deal with difficult population. Finally, it ordain provide precise tools on how to deal with difficult clients or opposing counsel. The following are the most common types of clients that flock walk into your office. Usually, this angry client will be very hostile towards you and former(a)s. Your staff w thrillethorn dread dealings with this soulfulness. Sometimes, it is unclear why the psyche is so angry. Be assured that this soulfulnesss anger will exclusively get worse during litigation. Moreover, some or all of that anger will spill over to you and your staff. The despiteful or yearning client. Typically a vengeful or zealous client will be vengeful about many things and not provided the cause for what you are being used. This mortal will ordinarily hit it known that they are take ining the fight based on principle. Many times this desire f or vengeance will overcome any sense of rationality. The obsessed client. This client passelnot stop thinking about the case, the soil, the wrong, and what depose be presumee to address this problem. This client could easily call you some(prenominal) times a day to make sure that you are on top of the case. You could likely get too much training quite a than too little. The emotionally extremityy client. This client is a good deal emotionally frail and insecure. Many times this someone will be in a co-dependent relationship and is seeking to embroil you in another co-dependent relationship. This someone may find it very difficult to make decisions. intermediation Offices of Steve G. Mehta 25124 Springfield Court, Ste. 250, Valencia, CA 91355 Tel (661) 284-1818 Fax 661 284-1811 Email Stevemehtamann.com Offices Valencia & Los AngelesThe angry or hostile client. The dishonest or deceitful client. Often this client will not advertise you all the information they know to b e relevant or will tell you the wrong information. The unresponsive client. This client frequently wants the appearance of an attorney who is providing independent advice tho in reality doesnt want your advice. This client plain wants you to rubber stamp his or her actions. Often, this client will reject your advice because it is conflicting to her own. As stated by Sheila Blackford, author of Recognizing Difficult Client Types, Clients often come to attorneys to determine the consequences of actions they yield already taken or hit decided to take. Often these clients dont want you as a lawyer, but are forced by others or circumstance to hire a lawyer. Beware that just as they are unwilling to involve your advice, they may also be unwilling to pay the bill for advice they do not want. Finally, there may be a combination of these types of clients.You could end up with an angry, vengeful client that is obsessed. If that is your client, turn in the other education and run. If this ends up being your opposing counsel, because in the famous nomenclature of the Robot in Lost in Space, Danger, Will Robinson, Danger instantly that difficult clients defecate been identified, it is helpful to look at some strategies that attorneys net use to combat both difficult or nightmare clients and opposing counsel. First, start out by examining yourself. Everyone cornerstone be difficult to deal with at times. Before you can determine whether the other mortal is the problem, make sure that you arent the problem. Are you over overreacting? Are you having a unskilled day? Why is this person affecting you? What buttons of yours are being pushed, and why? After examining whether you may be part of the communication problem or that you have misinterpreted the comments made towards you, then you will have a split idea as to whether this person is being offensive or difficult or whether it is you.In examining yourself, it is important to understand that everybody has an instinctual reaction to act when attacked. This is hardwired in our brains from the stone age days where we had to either react to a aff effective (fight) or flee from the threat (flight). In modern days, the threat is normally not physical, yet the body still gives issues the same fight or flight reaction. People end up having an immediate look at to affirmatively right a wrong or injustice against them. More likely, a person can end up wanting to immediately defend his or her actions or position. This is partially because the attack against a person is affecting his or her internal observation of self worth that persons rest in the community or amongst his peers. Often people feel the need to place that they are correct and that the other person is wrong. This knee shoot reaction, however, can do more damage than good. Indeed, when having such a reaction, most people perceive that it makes them feel good but shortly thereafter, they sorrow having said and done what they d id in the heat of the moment.The strategies listed hereafter are not in chronological order but instead are different strategies that can be affianceed depending on the situation. First, PRESS THE PAUSE BUTTON. In sports after a particularly difficult call by the peer review the commentators will press the pause button on the action and show an instant replay at a slower pace. This tool is not just beneficial in sports. The pause button can be very powerful in helping to deal with difficult people. The distance of the pause can depend on the situation. In the case of a minor issue, you mightiness treat the matter with a low-toned pause, swelled yourself just enough time to think. Indeed, this is exactly what attorneys tell their clients in preparedness for deposition. After the question is claimed, wait for a brief second in front answering. That pause can help to suspend making a Brobdingnagian blunder by saying the wrong thing. In other cases, you might need a longer pa use.You could only if ask for a five-minute dishonor or ask to use the restroom whatever excuse you need to give to allow yourself a moment to think. formerly you have hit the pause button, you can then consider the comment or action, its encroachment on the scheme of things, and what you might want to do in response. getting compensate for example, the case of one mediator. In one particularly nasty mediation, when a party insulted the mediators integrity to its foundation, the mediator simply took a moment to pause in the mediation to let the sting of the initial insult pass. Then he asked take a five-minute break turn he digested the information just conveyed. Then when he returned, he simply moved the mediation forward as if the comment had never been made. Once the party realized that she couldnt get a reaction to her disdainful comments, she was forced to stop making them. Another rule to consider is that You dont have to win every argument.As noted above, often the re ason a person jumps into the fray is because she wants to prove that she is right. This is difficult for lawyers because they are trained to advocate their position. However, proving that you are right with a difficult person can simply entrench that person even get ahead and even though you may feel that you are right, the other person will never agree. Sometimes the best response is to let it go and have the satisfaction that you know that you are right. Another important strategy is to employ ACTIVE LISTENING skills. An important sign of respect for another person is to actually listen to what that other person has to say. How many times have you been in a situation where someone has saidYou arent audience to me. One of the most powerful tools in addressing difficult people is use active listening skills. Active listening skills include avoiding any distractions such as that pesky Blackberry and really analyzeing to understand the other persons positions and colligates. Al l too often attorneys are already working on their response while the other person speaks. clear what you understand about the other persons statements. Ask whether your restatement is an precise version of what the other person feels. Sometimes, depending on the person, you might mirror some of the nonverbal cues the person displays. Studies show that by mirroring non-verbal gestures, the other person will feel more connected with you. Ask questions that elicit more information from the other person. Depending on the person, you may have to spend a huge amount of time exploitation active listening skills. However, at the end of such a process you might find that the difficult person is much less difficult. It is also important when dealing with difficult people that you try not to give that person an excuse to be even more difficult. As such, when you communicate your concerns or feelings try to avoid employ terms that target the other person, such as you phrases which target th e other persons behavior. Instead, talk about your experiences utilize I phrases, such as I was upset when I heard the comments.This approach helps to avoid attacking the other person or accusing the other person of something. Match communication styles. Generally, people fall into three categories Audio learners, optical learners, or Kinesthetic (or touch) learners. You can tell which style a person favors by the language she uses. Think about whether the other person is using visual language such as color, seeing, and pictures or whether the person is using audio language such as hearing, sounds, vibrations, etc. Then try to match their language by using words that relate to those styles in your responses. For example, with a visual person you might comment, I see your position, but with an audio person you might say, I hear what you are saying. If the difficult person puts you in a position where you are conductd to respond, ask that person what exactly he is upset about. This will help to render that you are interested in solutions rather arguing.This strategy then can allow you to incorporate active listening once the person explains to you their concern (irrational or otherwise). Finally, if after an unreasonable attack against you, consider agreeing with a small portion of the statement. This can accomplish several things. First, it can help you avoid jumping in to defend yourself and continuing the unhealthy communication. More importantly, however, it can allow you to create something in common with the angry person and may appease their irrational anger. These general strategies can be very helpful in dealing with all types of difficult people. But what about the difficult client or lawyer? There are several specific strategies to work with these individuals. First, there is a saying that the best client you will ever have is the one that you dont take. In other words, sometimes it is far better to not take a client than to take a client and have nightmares wondering if you are passage to be called by the Bar or served with an unjustified malpractice suit.matter how lucrative, are just not worth the risk and the stress. Many times if the client is difficult as a prospective client, that person will only get worse during the appointation. If you dont have the luxury of refusing to re certify a certain person, establish boundaries. You can limit your involvement to specific interactions. You can also establish boundaries for when and how many calls you might take on a particular topic. One lawyer has a written guidepost for all of his clients which establishes what the lawyer will and wont do in the legal process, including responding to calls on the weekend. Third, you can establish specific requirements for your clients in the very first meeting and before you sign the retainer. Along those same lines, one of the major frustrations for attorneys is clients that have unreasonable expectations of the result and process. By providing the clients with a precise explanation of what they can expect, and what you expect, you can minimize difficult communications.This principle can also work very effectively with opposing counsel. If counsel is abusive to you or your staff, you can set down estate rules for future communications. If those ground rules are not honored, then you can limit your communications. For example, one lawyer lets the opposing counsel know that if there are any further abusive phone calls, then all further interactions will have to be in writing. Moreover, if the opposing counsel persists in his or her actions, then all writings will not be by facsimile machine or email, and will only be accepted and given in the mail. One lawyer has gone so far as to require that all conferences be videotaped. Unfortunately due to the nature of the practice of law which involves conflict scenarios, there will continue to be difficult people in the practice of law.There are many strategies for deal ing with difficult people. This article has only addressed a few of them. However, armed with these strategies, it is executable to substantially decrease the number of difficult interactions and the stress related to those interactions. inquiry sources http//www.abanet.org/lpm/magazine/articles/v36/is4/pg41.shtml Pyschology Today. http//www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200609/dealing-difficultpeople Steven G. Mehta, Esq. is a full time mediator based in Los Angeles with offices in Downtown and Valencia and specializes in emotionally complex cases involving elder law, injury cases, and employment disputes. He can be reached through his website at www.stevemehta.com.Mediation is a tool to help people recognize their responsibility for things, to conduct a solution and to move on with their lives. My role is to allow them to present their side, to ensure that they are heard and to help them achieve a resolution. What, exactly, is Mehtas magic? mind human dynamics. Anyone can learn the law, he points out. Understanding people is where my expertise lies. There are 2 sides and two emotions to every story. I care about them both. But theres a huge chasm between understanding human dynamics and getting two frustrated, angry parties to agree. Mehta is very definitive about what it takes to bridge that gap and bring the parties together.My ability to connect with each participant and develop trust is dead essential, he says. Then, I need to be creative about solutions. conclusion a mutually satisfying settlement is as much art as it is law. Finally, I never give up. Nothing is impossible. The impossible just takes a little longer. In the end, there is almost always an answer. When its over, its a solution the parties chose. They feel empowered. Grateful. Relieved, Mehta says. Most importantly, they feel free to move on with their lives. Now, thats a masterful job.